With global warming threatening to warm up our shores to the extent that we’ll live in a Mediterranean climate, I went out and bought some baking oil to help top up my suntan The idea of sitting out on Christmas day sipping on my Pina Colada by the swimming pool isn’t exactly my idea of hell

It always amazes me how efficient the Germans are Whilst settling down to watch Grand Designs the other day, I saw an entire house built in a Bavarian factory, shipped to England and built in three days, all without mistakes and of course - with a top quality finish